Finding the Happy Medium: Conflict Resolution Stories

A: Hey, Maya, thanks for meeting me. I really need to talk out a conflict I had at work last week. The situation is okay now, but sometimes I still need to talk with someone I trust to relieve the stress, you know?

B: Of course, Joe! I'm all ears. I actually had a big disagreement with my roommate, Chloe, recently. We also found a solution to our problem, maybe you and I can address conflicts better in the future if we learn from each other's successes and mistakes.

A: Let's hear your story first. What happened?

B: Well, it was about our shared living space. I like my house to be clean, but Chloe is really messy. It came to a head last week. I finally said, "Chloe, your so freaking lazy! Can you put your dirty plates in the dishwasher for once in your life?!"

A: oh.. no...

B: I know, I know, this was the worse thing I could have said. Unsurprisingly, she got really defensive. I should have asked her, "Would you mind putting your dishes in the dishwasher after you use them?"

A: Yes, say this next time. How is Chloe now? Is she still mad? How did you handle it?

B: I realized my mistake but I also knew that we needed to resolve this conflict. So I asked her, "How about finding a happy medium?" We ended up collaborating on a cleaning schedule. It’s not perfect system, but it’s a fair compromise. We both had to give a little to reach an agreement.

A: That's an excellent resolution! It sounds like you used a really good strategy. My situation was similar but at the office. My teammate, David, and I had a disagreement about our project timeline. He wanted to rush, but I thought his plan would lead to a mistake. We had a big argument.

B: What did you do? It's so hard to confront people at work.

A: I was nervous! I started by saying, "David, could we please talk for a minute?" Then I asked, "Would it be possible to extend the deadline by two days? I'm worried that if we don’t take time to sleep on the details, the quality will slip." I used a pen to show him on the plan why I was worried.

B: Smart! Using a visual. Did he get upset?

A: A little at first. He said the bill from the client was very expensive and we couldn't be late. But we kept talking. We finally found a compromise: I would handle the more complex parts to speed things up, and he would check the final numbers. It was a true collaboration to solve the problem.

B: So you both found a resolution by compromising. That's brilliant! It's really not easy to do, but it's the best way to resolve a conflict.

A: Exactly. It feels so much better than just avoiding the problem. I believe that most arguments can be solved if you just communicate politely.

B: I agree. It's all about finding that happy medium. Now, should we order some more tea? I'm feeling much better after our excellent chat!